Confidence Boost

I started the day ready to conquer the world. I could do anything today. I shrugged off all negative feelings about work, my sometimes lack in New Mamma confidence, my desire to just stay at home with my son. Damn it, I thought to myself. I carried a living thing for nine months inside me, I nurtured it to life against all odds, and survived an emergency c-section. If I could surpass all of that…surely I can do anything else.

And so I went about my day. Wow, I said. What a difference a mantra like that does to your psyche. I felt the boost of confidence as I accomplished task after task at work. I got this. I got a lot done. Now if only I were able to continue that trend home. But home life with a baby is totally different. While there are things you can control in the office to make things go your way (most of the time), once a little one comes into the equation, you can forget about accomplishing chores like you used to. I had three things I needed to get done at home: pay bills, cut the baby’s nails, and the laundry. I said to myself that if I knocked off even one thing from that list, I’ve accomplished something big today. It was difficult, and pushing it to almost midnight again, but I am happy  that I got to pay the bills, and cut the baby’s nails. Two out of three. Not bad. The mountain of dirty clothes will have to wait again.

Baby Gizmo

Tonight I successfully used an until-now-I-thought-was-pointless baby gizmo. If you are a New Mamma…you know what I’m talking about: one of the million and one doodads of infant apparatus they make you register for (or end up buying yourself) at Babies R’ Us, Costco, or some other babystuff-carrying superstore.

My husband had to work some extra hours tonight, so after work, it was just me and the baby. Normally my husband and I would take turns if, let’s say, one of us needed to cook, get on the computer, pay bills, or do another task that could not involve the little one. Well, tonight, I had to pee. Badly. And on this night when it was just me and the baby for a couple of hours, I learned to use the little Bumbo seat so the baby can join me in the bathroom while I do my business. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before! The seat was loaned to me by a co-worker, whose daughter has since outgrown the barely used little throne. The thing has sat unused on top of a once elegant storage armoire in our dining room, now occupied by a swing, bounce-a-bout, high chair, and car seat. I even talked to my co-worker today about soon returning some of the items she’s loaned, including the Bumbo, as my baby has either outgrown them, or has moved on to graduated gear. In my desperation to pee, I considered a few things: leave the baby in his crib while I take the baby monitor, put the baby in his bounce-a-bout, or leave the baby in the high chair. I did not resort to any of these, afraid that if I leave the baby anywhere for even two seconds, I swear something will happen to him. So then comes in the Bumbo, already just packed in a big paper bag ready to be returned to its loaner. I took the thing with one hand, baby on the other, and together the three of us marched into the commode. I placed the seat on my red bathroom rug, secured the baby with the seat tray, and then finally went about and did my business. All that work for two minutes of relief! Needless to say, I will not be returning that Bumbo any time soon.

We found good use today for that chair =)

New Mommyhood

I’ve been a Mamma exactly 21 weeks to date. That’s only a little over five months ago, but somehow the days of being gloriously pregnant, attending baby showers left and right in my honor, and even finally reaching the big D-day, now all seem like a distant memory. All that blur has now been replaced (quite literally!) by blood, sweat, (lots of) tears, and even (lots, lots more) laughter . Looking back at the past couple of months, I wonder now how come I’ve never heard a Mamma say to me that motherhood is so much work (because most days I really feel like it is!!!) I guess the days ahead will answer that question for me.

I didn't expect pregnancy to be SUCH a beautiful time...once the morning sickness was all over.

The CALM before the storm...

Our FIRST family photo.

The boy who would forever change our lives...

My boys...father and son.

He adored him from Day One.

There's nothing that I wouldn't make you feel my love.

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