I started the day ready to conquer the world. I could do anything today. I shrugged off all negative feelings about work, my sometimes lack in New Mamma confidence, my desire to just stay at home with my son. Damn it, I thought to myself. I carried a living thing for nine months inside me, I nurtured it to life against all odds, and survived an emergency c-section. If I could surpass all of that…surely I can do anything else.
And so I went about my day. Wow, I said. What a difference a mantra like that does to your psyche. I felt the boost of confidence as I accomplished task after task at work. I got this. I got a lot done. Now if only I were able to continue that trend home. But home life with a baby is totally different. While there are things you can control in the office to make things go your way (most of the time), once a little one comes into the equation, you can forget about accomplishing chores like you used to. I had three things I needed to get done at home: pay bills, cut the baby’s nails, and the laundry. I said to myself that if I knocked off even one thing from that list, I’ve accomplished something big today. It was difficult, and pushing it to almost midnight again, but I am happy that I got to pay the bills, and cut the baby’s nails. Two out of three. Not bad. The mountain of dirty clothes will have to wait again.